Congratulations for finding my blog, you have proven to be one of societies enlightened people. Only the cleverist of the bunch make it here – and how do I know that? Because of a line from the old Pharaoh, no – not “Pharaoh you doing?”, but “let it be written, let it be done.” It’s a little bit like The Emperor’s New Clothes where the kid said only the bright ones could see his clothing and nobody wanted to look stupid so everybody pretended to see his clothing – if everybody believes that only smart people read this blog then “let it be written, let it be done.”
Something like a self-fulfilling prophecy it would seem – a phrase by the way coined by a beloved American sociologist who nightly would kick off his shoes, sit on his couch and drink a cold one. And every night his wife would scream at him, “Robert, take out the trash.” or “Robert, these walls aren’t going to paint themselves.” and so on, you get the idea. And like a good little husband he would get up and take out the trash or paint the walls, even though he was out coining phrases left and right (he also coined “role model” among others) and she just sat at home praying for it to rain so she would have an excuse to stay inside. Then one day he finally flipped out at her, “I can’t take it anymore, one of these days I’m just going to really flip out on you if you keep this up,” he said with an unruly anger in his eyes. And you can guess how that little prophecy of his turned out.
Anyways, if you’re reading this at work, as a warning, you should probably close out of the browser now. No, not because there are improper pictures of scantilly clad women or anything of that nature, but because You’re At Work! Do some work. It’s a warning that you’re gonna get fired soon. Is it any wonder, with people like you, that the American economy is dragging so far behind every other country’s? I mean, India used to be the butt of every single customer service joke anyone in our country ever made – who didn’t love doing their best Indian impersonation and saying, “Have you made sure your computer is plugged in?” But now? Now India’s economy is blowing past ours. And this is a people that don’t even eat steak! How do they get protein? Do you know how much tofu you have to eat to get the same protein that we get in a steak? They literally have to be eating tofu half the day just to get enough protein to survive – throw in time asleep and that leaves them around 3-4 hours a day to work and they still have more of a burgeoning society than us.
Now, there’s no real reason for you to read this blog. But then again, there’s no real reason for you to do most things, so you might as well. What I am going to do is post my thoughts on certain things and invite anybody to feel free to disagree with me. The only stipulation is that disagreeing with me probably means that you are wrong, so argue at your own peril. Although once I realize I am wrong I am willing 100% to change my mind. So that being the case I hope that everyone’s arguments are sound and intelligent. If not, I will kindly remove them.
I know there are other places where people can go to argue with other people on thousands of topics. The difference is that on those sites it is two morons arguing with each other, there is no screening for intelligence. Here at least one of the persons participating in the discussion is a certified genuis (me) so at least one person will be making keen insights into the world (me again).
So, why am I making this blog? It is to come to the answer to all of life’s little questions. Through intense debate I hope to be able to come to a decisive conclusion on all topics. I will be presenting my argument, listening and engaging with others to see all points of view and then I will be pronouncing the result for what is the correct answer. Topics will range from “Should barbers not be allowed to talk to their customers?” to “Would I rather my parents catch me looking at porn or on an online dating site?” I will take suggestions.
Here’s to the Boston Tea Party!