I’m 24 years old.  I have a normal job, somewhat normal parents, somewhat normal girlfriend, and an overall privelaged life.

Here’s the catch – I’m not that normal – I’m consumed by bizarre thoughts that I have to keep under control during the course of the day so people would stop giving me weird looks.  When I see a beautiful girl walking down the street I don’t wonder what she looks like naked, I usually wonder if she has any pets that are dying or how many pillows she uses at night or if she puts mustard on her soft pretzels and if so, why?  Mustard’s gross.

I think the world and people should act in an exact certain manner and when people don’t act in these ways I get very upset internally and my friends – or what’s left of them (I think 3 now) – I was very popular in elementary school, but my number of friends has reduced every year since the 5th grade – but either way these 3 friends are sick of hearing me rant about it.  That’s where you come in. 

My Interests: beach volleyball, breaking pretzel sticks into 2 symmetric halves, staring out car windows, staring into car windows, naming pets after presidents.

Things I am not interested in: regular volleyball, soft pretzels, tinted windows, naming pets after composers.


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