Lunchy Munchy (Bonus Track 1)

March 27, 2008

I had planned on not ranting on day to day things and to keep this limited to genuine discussion topics, however since pretty much every person and situation I encounter infuses me with some degree of rage I am going to have to make some exceptions.  In order to turn this negative of me posting about day to day things occasionally into a positive I will call these posts “Bonus Tracks” – keeping in line with how music labels take songs that were so bad they could not even make it onto a 14 song CD and release them as “Bonus Tracks”- trying to get people excited for something they should never even consider listening to.

So today I went to lunch at Subway.  Nothing new there, I eat at Subway about once a week for lunch, except today at Subway I encountered complete dichotomy in human behavior.  First off, not related to the story, but related to Subway – for some reason the guy who works the register at this Subway loves me.  Whenever I walk into this subway the guy behind the register stops whatever he is doing (no matter how busy it is) and will wave to me and yell out, “Hellooo”.  It is quite possibly the most embarrassing 30 seconds anyone could experience.  And I have no idea why he does it – I never really interact with him more than any other customer does, I mean sometimes I’ll make a small joke, I always do have a smile on my face, but I’m in there only about once a week which I assume is around average for most people who take lunch there, I have no idea why he loves me so much?  Maybe it’s because I always have exact change?  I will never know.  But either way, it’s especially embarrassing when I go to Subway with co-workers.  Could you imagine walking inside a Subway with a co-worker whom you are trying to get to respect you and having the register guy stop what he’s doing, wave and yell out to welcome you?  And my co-workers always get this strange look and ask me, “Why does the register guy at Subway love you?”  I try to tell them I have no idea, but there’s just no way to explain that one – maybe that’s why nobody goes to lunch with me anymore?

Anyways, moving on.  So walking into Subway today I was arriving at the Subway entrance door about 5 seconds before this maybe 28-30 year old woman was (we’ll call her girl1).   The nice guy that I am, I hold the door open for her and let her go in before me – meaning she would get in line ahead of me.  No big deal, I’m a nice guy, she’s slightly attractive, win win.  Not so fast, I immediately (well, after the register guy waved and welcomed me) noticed that the line was extra long and I immediately slightly regretted letting her in front of me since I had to be back within the hour for a meeting.

Then, after waiting in line for about 3 minutes she pulls out around 5 post-it notes with sandwich orders on each one.  Are you kidding me?  I let her get in front of me in line and she repays me by ordering 6 different sandwiches?  She knew she had a huge order, why did she not just say to me, “Oh, thanks for holding the door open, but I am ordering lunch for a small army so why don’t you go in front of me?”  Is that too much to ask?

It would be one thing if there was no line and she just walked in and right up to the counter to order – then I would say, “Ok, she went right up to the counter – maybe she didn’t have time to think that what she was doing was wrong.”  But we were in line for 10 minutes, she had plenty of time to turn to me and invite me in front of her.  What a disgrace! 

And another thing, a little off topic, but I am not sure I get the plastic gloves that Subway and other fast food employees wear considering that I never see them change them or throw them away.  Isn’t wearing those plastic gloves all day the same as using your hands all day?  Are those gloves immune to germs?  What’s the point of wearing them if you don’t change them every couple of minutes – don’t they just accumulate all of the same germs that hands do?  Is there something magical about these gloves I don’t know about?

Alright, back to the story.  So we finally get to the front of the line and she orders her 6 sandwiches and as the workers are scrambling around to make her order there is this wonderfully awkward stoppage of time where I am staring at her, obviously disturbed that it turned out that I held the door open for a small Chinese family instead of just one woman and it would have been the perfect moment for her to turn to me and apologize – however, alas, there was none coming.  Very disheartening.  At this moment I made it a point to look to see if she had a ring on her finger and, not surprisingly, no ring.  Is it any wonder no man wanted to marry this woman?  I guarantee you it’s because she orgasm’s before the guy every night and never apologizes for it – not even when there is the wonderfully awkward moment after.

Now, in complete dichotomy to this was what happened next.  I got my sandwich toasted, the 28-30 year old woman (girl2) behind me didn’t.  So when it came to putting the toppings on and paying, I, as the nice guy I am, had let her duck in front of me since my sandwich was still toasting.  In this instance she had beaten me fair and square and deserved to be in front of me since my sandwich was not completely done.  However, the awful girl1 in front of us ordering 6 sandwiches was taking her time paying.  So, right before the girl2 that had just gotten in front of me was going to pay, my sandwich was complete.  So this nice young girl turns to me and says, “Your sandwich is done, would you like to get back in front of me?”  What a saint!  No, actually – what a normal human.  This is not doing anything extra nice, just doing what should be done – it just seemed saintly after the previous wretched girl. 

I politely declined and let her pay first since she was so nice.  As I was declining I made a point to see if she had a ring on her finger.  She didn’t have one either, but, however, in this instance it is probably because she was pretty ugly and fairly overweight. 

I guess if anybody wants to argue that the first girl’s actions were not heinous please do, however I do not see how that is possible.  Also, if anybody has a situation where they think someone acted incorrectly or are wondering how one should act in any situation I would be happy to let you know.